Hey Look At Me!

That's it.  I've decided to do my part.

Sure, every day the tubes of the internet are being clogged with more worthless information than our feeble minds are ever able to comprehend. Millions of Facebook and Twitter posts every single day are detailing the desire of millions of people to a) have a sandwich, b) not go to work, or c) curl up in front of the TV and watch American Idol.  Thousands of YouTube videos are uploaded every single day, consisting mainly of poorly-lit nerds in front of webcams, looking slightly below the lens and talking about what they think of the latest developments in <insert MMORPG title here>.  Every day, gigabytes of worthless cameraphone photos are uploaded to photo sharing sites, ensuring that every last person with a computer or internet-enabled phone are able to see some guy's cat making a cat face.

I had to ask myself, "Am I doing my part to stuff the internet with crap?"  The answer was a resounding "no".  Don't get me wrong, I try.  I update my Facebook status when I can, and I try to make my updates as worthless as possible.  I upload cameraphone photos with no purpose. See?

I call this one "Gummy Bears on Deodorant For Some Reason"

But when it came down to it, I needed something more. I wasn't clogging fast enough.  I had, in days long past, toyed with the idea of a blog -- but I quickly scrapped the idea when I realized that I actually had nothing of importance to say. I didn't realize at the time that this fact already put me in the top 20% of all blog writers worldwide in terms of content quality.

"Nothing" is what the internet wants, so Nothing is what the internet gets!  Yay!

So you can think of this blog as just one more molecule of nothing in a Vast Sea of Nothing, and yourself as a traveler who's obviously lost because you're here.

That's all. Go somewhere else now. Like maybe to Captive Audience, which is my mom's blog. It's far less "nothing" than this, and contains a veritable cornucopia of things that most people don't need to know about their moms.

Oh wait!  I thought you should know that I chose this backdrop because it reminds me of what it looks like when you stab a guy that's holding a gallon of orange juice.

And that's really going to be a weird statement to everyone that comes here after I've changed the background to something else.  Which will be, like, tomorrow.

Edit:  Too late, I changed it!